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“It is funny about money. And it is funny about identity. You are you because your little dog knows you, but when your public knows you and does not want to pay for you and when your public knows you and does want to pay for you, you are not the same you.”-Gertrude Stein

That gurl.

She’s 17 years old now and confused in ways she never was before. Her brain doesn’t wake up as fast as it used to and her legs are arthritic and sometimes that makes it difficult for her to stand up.

I’m afraid to leave her alone for too long. Afraid she will get stuck. It’s my job to unstick her. She trusts me. She looks to me and I want to be her constant calm. And sometimes that nearly impossible.

Her Dad gets up with her in the middle of the night to tend to her bladder because now when she has to go she has to go. When she was younger she had unbelieveable control over everything. Unbelieveable agility.

But now? Now. I love her more than I have ever loved her before because she reminds me of the walking miracle. That it exists. And, when I wake up with a startle wondering if she’s still with us I feel Tricia saying, “20”.

I think it might be impossible to have a 20 year old dog but if she can stick around that long then I can be by her side. Because she’s been by mine and I will move mountains to tend to that gurl.

When she has a really good meal, she still has to dance and undo her bed. But then, she can’t rest until it’s neat and tidy again. That’s just a part of her personality.

Her tastes are varied and she doesn’t like to eat the same food everyday. She prefers things spicy. And she loves sushi. As much as I can I take her to the Starbuck’s drive through for a birthday cake pop. She usually eats the whole thing on the way to the lake.

She loves the fountain at the lake. She loves to stand on the concrete platform in the center and cool off with splashes of water surrounding her. Being outside makes her happy and then may need to sleep it off for a couple of days.

She likes people watching and dog watching.

She’s an absolute joy. No trouble at all. My best gurl. An absolute joy.

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