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A good friend sent me this article today.  A woman in Africa has come up with a defensive condom for women to help curb the sexual assaults which lead to the spread of AIDS in that country.

Twice in the past decade I’ve written about such a concept.  Once in an infomercial entitlted “Explomo-Ex” which consisted of four kinds of torpedo like tampons and was staged to the tune of Wonder Woman with various slo-mo women launching the differing products on a poor actor named Lindon, until he revealed his shirt that read “This Is What A Feminist Looks Like”.  I believe the DC City Paper gave it high marks.

I also wrote a rock opera version of Lysistrata called, “Lysistration” which had a scientist from NIH come up with a more severe version that included a syringe and injection that would invert the penis if the woman chose to do such a thing.

I’ll try to paste the monologues here.  If I can find them.  Anyway, it’s a strong affirmation to let my brain imagine in a world pretty hyped up on marketing spin and sexy-shiny images to promote.  So, I wanted to share it here on my blog.

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Excerpt from “Lysistration” by Deborah Randall all rights reserved @2005

BB:  Right.  Okay.  In brief.  Okay.  Some lab experimentation has led us to the “Lysistration Inversion”.  Someone here is working on a garter.  In any event, when not in horrifying housewife camouflage you MUST wear this garter.  While in the garb, it’s up to you.  Okay, the syringe will mount inside of the garter.  IF you are being attacked.  That is to say, if a man decides to penetrate against your will, you will twist the bow on the outside of the garter you should be able to get your fingers to your outer thigh, this will initiate a toggle that readies the syringe on your inner thigh.  So, keep your legs spread and don’t stab yourself, we haven’t done any studies on the effect.  As the syringe enters the penis a biochemical agent will alter only one chromosome on the DNA chain of the man.  Now, this will have a five to ten year effect.  The “Lysistration Inversion”.  In it’s most simplistic terms, each time the males penis begins to become erect, it will invert and pelvicly impale the gentlemen for five to ten years, as well as in the moment of attack.  Any questions?

BG:  How did you get the funding for this?

BB:  I shaved some off of the Viagra improvement project.  I’m not comfortable speaking about this.

Rio:  Are these chemicals harmful in any other way?

BB: (getting more defensive) Again, I have not been funded to do a side effects study.  Perhaps you’d like to attempt FDA Approval.  I’m fine right here.

Shakira:  If a man decides to rape a woman, then IT’S ON!!!

Nancy:  Okay, I know we want to invest into our inner warrior GodDesS now,

Shakira:  Damn straight!

Nancy:  But we must remain calm and we must follow the secret order as deemed in 1992.  The next order of business…

(HEAVY POUNDING ON BACK DOOR!  Male Voice.  Silence within the room.)

BG:  Grab your ass and run…it’s the heat…(women scatter)

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I can’t find the Explomo-ex monologues, but you get the gist.

Here’s what I’ve been wondering about.  Permission.  Permission to explore the things that terrify the most and turn them into some ridiculous situation which debunks their power. This to me is the power of theatre and the very reason I still walk the planet.  Without it, I would have shutdown SO long ago.

Maybe in Africa, the idea of this device will deter rape.  Maybe it will combat the myth that a man can be cured of AIDS if he rapes a virgin.  Maybe we need to put other stories out there.  Stories that say, if a man rapes a woman he will suffer pain.  Maybe, I’m not a sadist afterall but instead have found my own sanity through imagining the kind of justice that I need to hike a river path alone and not be afraid of attack.  And maybe if that’s what I need, it’s what others need to and so so there you have the reason I’m sharing some of my work.

Maybe I want to say, don’t let fear win.  But, be smart.  Use the tools that you have and move forward.  Don’t lock up.

Geez!  Why is it so hard to NOT lock up sometimes?

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