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“The heyday of woman’s life is the shady side of fifty.”
Elizabeth Cady Stanton

After auditions yesterday I found myself in a kind of elation.  I mean there was Robin Rice Lichtig and Lee Mikeska Gardner sitting in Venus watching these sometimes amazing actors give up the good stuff.  It’s my idea of heaven.  And, I’d like to thank everyone who showed up.

That said, and believe me my gratitude runs deep…I want to talk about the vagina.

I know Eve Ensler has already taken this out to its furthest boundary.  But, I’d like to say that last night I heard a lot of monologues which included the vagina in various ways.  This struck me.  And, it brought up something I’ve been thinking about and sometimes chatting with Carolyn about for a long time now.  While I appreciate the celebration of the vagina, maybe there’s another subject we could explore?  Say, the tooth?

As a 43 year old, peri-menopausal woman I have to say that my journey, experience, voice, is grossly under-represented in the way of what it means for me to be a person, a woman, at this point in my life.  We have Cougar Town, the way we have the Vagina Monologues.  Again, publicly I would like to challenge Carolyn Gage to write the “Clitoral Dialogues” because that would probably be closer to good theatre.  It would have conflict, resolution, dialogue, things that largely make up something we like to call a PLAY.

What if women were so deeply infatuated with their own sensuality that they just giggled a lot?  I mean what if it wasn’t about the anatomy, how it can be used as a transporting system, or possibly talk, what if it was about the WOMAN?

In her 20’s she believes she is her body.  That’s what she is taught and she holds onto that version of herself for as long as she can so that she will be accepted, adored, desired.  In her 30’s she begins to feel shunned and reads more, talks more, thinks more, begins to cultivate and inner monologue, assesses from more of an individual perspective.  In her 40’s a dialogue rises up not just with the people around her, the world out there, but an internal dialogue.  In her 40’s she finds herself fascinating.  She loves her own company.  She knows who she is.  She has wisdom, strength, and the undeniable beauty that beams out from a kind of fearless admission of ones own truth.  That’s as far as I’ve gotten.

It doesn’t have much to do with a purse vibe, or sex mags, it has everything to do with sensuality. Self-love.

That deep sense of the unlikely chance of her own existence and the awe that comes with the triumph.  It has to do with earning the curves and owning the creases because each one brings up some insane memory of something she tried once, something that transformed her.

When we teach our daughters to remain the princess we are also teaching them to dishonor the teachers.  And, when we do that there is an arrested state of development which leaves women hating themselves.  Deeply.  And, when women hate themselves to such a degree they resent the world around them.  And, when that happens it is indeed a hostile place for everyone.

IF we could embrace the ever-growing sensuality of woman.  Of WOMAN—AH!

I have to go adore myself now so I’m going to stop typing.

One Comment

  1. AWesome awesome awesome!! I do have an essay online about the Vagina Monologues… Hey, say howdy to Robin for me! You are a miracle and blogging has TRIPLED my website traffic… so far anyway! Gonna blog later in the day today…

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